Factober

I’m looking for mushrooms. Giant ones, specifically of the deadly poisonous

I’m looking for mushrooms. Giant ones, specifically of the deadly poisonous variety.”“How come?”“Monday is Teacher Appreciation Day, and I was thinking of making a nice quiche for Miss Keener.
Posted 4 months ago

[Showing the apartment to Tiziano ]MARLEEN WALKER: “Let me alert you that a

[Showing the apartment to Tiziano ]MARLEEN WALKER: “Let me alert you that animals are banned in this building.”TIZIANO CONTI: “Am I breaking the law right now?
Posted 4 months ago

Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes lat

Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later".
Posted 4 months ago

Instead of hopping around like a wild in'jun on fire, try counting from 10

Instead of hopping around like a wild in'jun on fire, try counting from 10 backwards while hopping on one foot".
Posted 4 months ago

Charity knew she had to begin looking for a job soon. Definitely tomorrow,

Charity knew she had to begin looking for a job soon. Definitely tomorrow, or the next day. Or perhaps the day after that. Charity didn't believe in procrastination. She just needed to plan her strategy. She was sound asleep on the sofa when Lady Margaret
Posted 4 months ago

Are you on crack? Or did I take a righteous bong hit before coming here?

Are you on crack? Or did I take a righteous bong hit before coming here?
Posted 4 months ago

I apply for a new job twice a week, every week. I am applying for the posit

I apply for a new job twice a week, every week. I am applying for the position of millionaire but so far my numbers haven't come up.
Posted 4 months ago

Among wilderness survival tips, punching a wild animal in the face probably

Among wilderness survival tips, punching a wild animal in the face probably isn’t on a checklist.
Posted 4 months ago

How bad could things be if my hair was neat?

How bad could things be if my hair was neat?
Posted 4 months ago

When a guy says,'I'll call you,' and he doesn't say when-that means he won'

When a guy says,'I'll call you,' and he doesn't say when-that means he won't call you." Kit pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed a couple buttons. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I fished it out, smiling. "Madness," Kit whispered softly into his
Posted 4 months ago

I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying . . . and God knowing should

I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying . . . and God knowing should count for something.
Posted 4 months ago

This country would get along much better if people learned how to suffer in

This country would get along much better if people learned how to suffer in silence.
Posted 4 months ago