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Honestly, my dating life according to the tabloids is very exciting, and th

Honestly, my dating life according to the tabloids is very exciting, and the most hilarious thing is that it's nowhere near as exciting as the tabloids have ever made it out to be.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

How did I know? Paul, I've known since you were eight and I caught you mast

How did I know? Paul, I've known since you were eight and I caught you masturbating in front of the TV to Bo and Luke Duke.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Thankyou,"Catherine said, the smile still hovering on her lips. "That is ki

Thankyou,"Catherine said, the smile still hovering on her lips. "That is kind of you my lord. But i will never dance with you." Which, ofcourse, made it the goal of leo's life.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Merlin seeks assistance from Pigwiggen, the only one of Arthur's knights wh

Merlin seeks assistance from Pigwiggen, the only one of Arthur's knights who is also a fairy, and they unite their enchantments to move the British Court to Turkestan. Lively end to Act One.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

God help him if any of them ever came true. Why, he'd be a two-headed, thre

God help him if any of them ever came true. Why, he'd be a two-headed, three-toed, monkey-nosed, blind son of a cesspit-licking lackey is she had her way.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my t

How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well as a few mythological animals that I swear I'd seen. Then I'd lived on the sun with aliens.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Ava,"Since shewas right, Daddy Shane has been calling her ourwalking, talki

Ava,"Since shewas right, Daddy Shane has been calling her ourwalking, talking Magic 8 Ball, although we’re notallowed to shake her when we want answers.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Now that he knew there was the possibility of gay porn in his future he was

Now that he knew there was the possibility of gay porn in his future he was a happy hamster.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Come on," he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt li

Come on," he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

With these words there came the rending scream of a shattered stirk and an

With these words there came the rending scream of a shattered stirk and an angry troubling of the branches as the poor madman percolated through the sieve of a sharp yew, a wailing black meteor hurtling through green clouds, a human prickles.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

Shane waved a hand. “Please, we know that all ittakes to get into your pant

Shane waved a hand. “Please, we know that all ittakes to get into your pants is a Hot Pocket and aNetFlix rental.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago

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