All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked.

Author: Nikki Glaser

Author: Nikki Glaser

Quote #397792

Put two macho groups together and give the first desperation and numbers, and the second truncheons

Author: Alexander Masters
Quote #299121

I believe in happy endings, and i feel this movie has advanced long enough.

Author: Matthew Quick
Quote #421848

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men but they often find it extremely difficu

Author: Compton Mackenzie
Quote #165413

Today we see social evil, terrorism, and gross immorality throughout the world. Someone has said, “A

Author: Billy Graham
Quote #93426

My soul is a black maelstrom, a great madness spinning about a vacuum, the swirling of a vast ocean

Author: Fernando Pessoa
Quote #416315

Some praise at morning what they blame at night.

Author: Alexander Pope
Quote #81933

You are either free or not free

Author: Malcolm X
Quote #224504

Well, I know about loneliness. I won't talk about it, but I was very lonely after the war. I know wh

Author: Charles M. Schulz
Quote #139168

Stars, Seas, Mountains, Bridges, Roads and Tunnels Are Manmade.

Author: Irfan Haidar
Quote #314541

If the militarily most powerful and least threatened states need nuclear weapons for their security,

Author: Joseph Rotblat
Quote #73003

Set backs and failures are the major motivations in life.Some are so painful that don't kill maybe t

Author: Himmilicious
Quote #410641

Most history is a record of the triumphs disasters and follies of top people. The black hole in it

Author: Philip Howard
Quote #474340

Truth, like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every o

Author: Albert Camus
Quote #43699

If you can approach the world's complexities, both its glories and its horrors, with an attitude of

Author: Daniel C. Dennett
Quote #6265

The word 'listen' contains the same letters as the word 'silent'.

Author: Alfred Brendel
Quote #376185

I could not count the times during the average day when something would come up that I needed to tel

Author: Joan Didion
Quote #310684

I really believe that when we start talking ourselves back, we'll have more to offer the world." he

Author: Philip Caputo
Quote #391781

Tactics and Checkmate in 1 move, show me some interesting stuff about chess... so far I can say that

Author: Deyth Banger
Quote #503396

Novelists have always had complete freedom to pretty much tell their story any way they saw fit. And

Author: Quentin Tarantino
Quote #387570

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Author: Coco Chanel
Quote #418285

The World would be a safer place If someone had a plan Before exploring Outer Space To find the I

Author: E. Y. Harburg
Quote #468383

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial

Author: Melody Beattie
Quote #260098

I can't go long without you either, Eva. You're an addiction...my obsession...

Author: Sylvia Day
Quote #211931

COMPASSION ALERT:As we enter the Season of Goodwill - Feel the warm glow in your heart by lighting u

Author: Kamil Ali
Quote #289611

Knowledge has no value except that which can be gained from its application toward some worthy end.

Author: Napoleon Hill
Quote #210206

Someone once said that love is the closest thing to magic that this world has, but magic enchants, d

Author: Donna Lynn Hope
Quote #244262

Muse usually gestured like an amphetamine-fueled Sicilian who's nearly gotten clipped by a speeding

Author: Harlan Coben
Quote #72550

My life is circus

Author: Unknown
Quote #27882

At any given moment, your circumstances can change. You may not be where you want to be right now. Y

Author: Amaka Imani Nkosazana
Quote #228106

If it has anything to do with me, it has nothing to do with sacrifice.

Author: Craig D. Lounsbrough
Quote #197144

Maybe heartache was more normal than the absence of it.

Author: Jennifer Handford
Quote #301006

Agony is not something that happens to you.To agonize is a choice.

Author: Alan Cohen
Quote #322595

Men are not angered by mere misfortune but by misfortune conceived as injury. And the sense of injur

Author: C.S. Lewis
Quote #464688

Well, there's nothing better than putting your feet up on a Sunday afternoon and grabbing a good boo

Author: Chris Klein
Quote #188116

For things I am not thankful for―experiences I would never volunteer to relive―I recognize how they

Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Quote #488094

Alison Carr on 'Homeland.' She was such great character to play, so clever and full of surprises. I

Author: Miranda Otto
Quote #325671

Don't take anything for granted because chances are it won't be here tomorrow or for that matter, ne

Author: Anthony T. Hincks
Quote #457317

Human intelligence is a reflection of the intelligence that produces everything. In knowing, we are

Author: Huston Smith
Quote #495677

I can sit in front of the TV and watch an old romantic film and be transfixed.

Author: Amber Heard
Quote #4675

I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know why we are here. I think life is full of anxieties an

Author: Charles M. Schulz
Quote #113715

The bond of love and the bond of peace keep us together in harmony.

Author: Unknown
Quote #186762

Do your thing, without harming anything.

Author: Fakeer Ishavardas
Quote #409541

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them there ought to be as many

Author: Margaret Atwood
Quote #465706

But I think it's more that when you're young, you're invincible, you're immortal - or at least you t

Author: Damien Hirst
Quote #48591

Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you'd like to act.

Author: Bob Dylan
Quote #290479

Hiding white lies only causesanxiety and low self- esteem.Melissa Mae Palmer (on living with a myste

Author: Melissa Mae Palmer
Quote #472794

The modern diet is grossly deficient in hundreds of important plant-derived immunity-building compou

Author: Joel Fuhrman
Quote #306501

Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together.

Author: Karen Casey
Quote #212991

With love and faith everything is possible.

Author: Debasish Mridha
Quote #88156

Like Wollstonecraft, Austen rejects the notion that ‘man was made to reason, woman to feel.’ Perhaps

Author: Emily Auerbach
Quote #110142

Poverty deprives humanity of the basic necessities to live a meaningful life.

Author: Gift Gugu Mona
Quote #10296

What one generation finds ridiculous, the next accepts; and the third shudders when it looks back on

Author: Peter Singer
Quote #162512

Well, they've come a long way. To think that he now could access a secret document held in the Vatic

Author: Peter J. Tanous
Quote #420499

When the past has taught us that we have more within us than we have ever used our prayer is a cry

Author: Rudolph Steiner
Quote #8699

His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.

Author: Jennifer Crusie
Quote #114150

The richest man is he who lives simply but has an abundance of love and kindness to give away.

Author: Debasish Mridha
Quote #35188

Don't call it death

Author: Unknown
Quote #381440

In Mathematics the art of proposing a question must be held of higher value than solving it.

Author: Georg Cantor
Quote #189275

Have a namasté day today. Look into the eyes of everyone you meet and silently honor his or her soul

Author: Michelle S. Fondin
Quote #278891

I like eating Tahu and Tempe. So what. I don't care what people said about them. They taste good in

Author: Eka Prasetyani
Quote #387857

After you find out all the things that can go wrong, you life becomes less about living and more abo

Author: Chuck Palahniuk
Quote #231392

Christ is sufficient. We do not need "support groups" for each and every separate tribulation. The m

Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Quote #137916

Repose is the most expansive posture you can assume. When you are in Repose, your body is as open an

Author: Victor Shamas
Quote #403907

Compliments and flattery oftenest excite my contempt by the pretension they imply for who is he tha

Author: Henry David Thoreau
Quote #240841

...we ought not meanwhile to make use of doubt in the conduct of life.

Author: René Descartes
Quote #304626

Like all great readers, he could create for himself a "wall of stillness".

Author: Philip Zaleski
Quote #484404

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose

Author: Ron White
Quote #139529

Whether you have teeth or not, smile! Because our world always needs a smile!

Author: Mehmet Murat ildan
Quote #303903

A friend worth knowing tolerates your flaws while a friend worth keeping loves you in spite of them.

Author: K.E. Garvey
Quote #57422

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,Creeps in this petty face from day to day.

Author: William Shakespeare
Quote #348704

Don't start a fight if you can't duke it out. Either win or concede but whatever you do, don't have

Author: Donna Lynn Hope
Quote #393266

Develop your leaders into a competitive advantage. Reconnect your leader-power to success.

Author: Gene Morton
Quote #231515

When you have to kill the same terrorist twice in one week, then there's either something wrong with

Author: Jonathan Maberry
Quote #257374

The Bible has stood the test of time because it is divinely inspired by Almighty God, written in ink

Author: Billy Graham
Quote #181053

Those who judge must take all aspects of an individual's personality into account. It is only throug

Author: Azar Nafisi
Quote #193979

Only the strong can stop a fight with kindness

Author: Manuel Corazzari
Quote #194951

In the middle of this journey, we lose a bit of ourselves. We do not know where we are or where we’r

Author: Joanne Crisner
Quote #397713

They can't give you all that, Mr Jimson,' said Walter, who was upset. 'It wouldn't be right. What wo

Author: Joyce Cary
Quote #135490

For every wounded warrior, there is a myltitude of family, friends, and communities who are forever

Author: Diana Mankin Phelps
Quote #122801

If anyone has made you feel invisible or less-than, write a new narrative on your heart.

Author: Jen Hatmaker
Quote #475958

Germany is a great nation only because its people have so much Polish blood in their veins.

Author: Friedrich Nietzsche
Quote #495467

In the romantic sense, I'm pretty useless with guys. If I see somebody who I'm attracted to, general

Author: Carrie Underwood
Quote #358415

God uses the flawed, the failures, and the imperfect to accomplish His perfect will.

Author: Elizabeth George
Quote #77578

You can never please people enough. But you can only be yourself.

Author: Unknown
Quote #60595

I shook my head. "Not Interested" I said.he straightened up. "Not interested in what?"In you." I cou

Author: Karen E. Olson
Quote #299323

Superhuman' is an extraordinary personality living in the godliness and wisdom taking over the human

Author: Vishal Chipkar
Quote #37525

The past gave us experience and made us wiser so that we can create a beautiful and brighter future.

Author: Debasish Mridha
Quote #497392

A group of us started a community center in Santa Monica. We've tried different programs, and three

Author: Lisa Bonet
Quote #313801

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, most Merciful. Praise be to AllahThe Cherisher and Sustainer of

Author: Our Creator
Quote #30321

Hell had frozen over and I was lost in its endless labyrinth.

Author: Cameo Renae
Quote #452056

If a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

Author: Martin Luther King
Quote #178978

You can work to create a bright future.

Author: Unknown
Quote #151783

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

Author: Zack Love
Quote #56991

There was only present, and it was infinite. The past and the future were just blinders we wore so t

Author: Laini Taylor
Quote #91142

Beauty is a behavior. As is ugliness.

Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Quote #42332

An author, whether good or bad, or between both, is an animal whom every body is privileged to attac

Author: Matthew Lewis
Quote #408981

"What do you think of God " the teacher asked. After a pause the young pupil replied "He's not a t

Author: Paul Frost
Quote #472161

I bought my own home in 2004. It's a sanctuary for my family and a place of peace and calm. It's key

Author: Robin S. Sharma
Quote #177629

Just because someone throws their success in your face doesn’t mean you have to let it get in your e

Author: Charles F. Glassman