What To Do if Your Child Tells You About Sexual Abuse

Hearing your child speak about sexual abuse is one of the most heartbreaking and challenging moments a parent can face. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, confused, and angry, but how you respond in this critical moment can make a world of difference for your child’s well-being. This guide will help you understand what to do if your child tells you about sexual abuse to make sure they feel supported, safe, and loved.

React With Support and Calm

Your initial reaction matters. Even though hearing about abuse might make you feel panicked or furious, it’s important to remain calm on the outside. If you react strongly, it may feed into your child’s fears of receiving judgment, blame, or punishment for their abuse.

Show your child that your priority is their safety and well-being. Offer a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing without fear. Above all, make sure your child knows that the abuse is not their fault and that you will do everything you can to help.

Believe Them

When a child discloses abuse, believe what they’re saying. Children rarely lie about these matters, and dismissing their words can do significant harm to their trust and healing. Avoid asking leading or accusatory questions like, “Are you sure?” Instead, reassure them with statements like, “I believe you,” or “Thank you for telling me.” Trust that your child’s disclosure is truthful, even if it’s difficult for you to process.

Take Steps To Protect Your Child

Once your child has disclosed sexual abuse, take steps to protect them from further harm.

Remove them from the abusive situation immediately and ensure they are not left alone with the perpetrator. Report the abuse to the proper authorities or child protective services. You should also seek guidance from a professional—like a therapist or advocate—on your next steps.

Keep in mind that this process is long and might reveal frustrating realities. For instance, if your child was abused in school, the institution might fail to follow up on the perpetrator, which is just one of the many disciplinary procedural errors schools make. Likewise, if you report the incident to the police, it’s possible the investigation won’t result in a conviction unless the evidence is inarguable. These realities are disheartening, and they can make you feel helpless. However, it’s important to keep advocating for your child’s safety through it all.

Help Your Child Heal

Experiencing sexual abuse leaves a lasting impact on children, but healing is possible, especially if it starts early. Find your child a therapist who specializes in trauma and child sexual abuse. At home, remind your child that they can talk to you at any time. With time, therapy, and trust, your child can rebuild their sense of security.

Having your child tell you about sexual abuse is such a difficult experience. Knowing what to do can help you take the right steps and support your child in the process. Your response can make all the difference in their ability to heal and move forward. Trust in yourself as their advocate and protector.